- If you feel like you’re constantly hitting your head against a brick wall and not able to get your message across
- If you are having issues getting yourself heard and understood in your marriage or relationship or family
- If you’re finding it hard not to use judgmental or blaming words and language to talk about a problem you have
- If you find that whenever you try to talk about something important it always spirals into an argument, then counselling can really work for you
Then counselling can help you. I believe counselling isn’t about me be the judge and jury in your fights, nor is my role to decide how you should change. My job is to help each one of you to see more clearly what they are doing, help you make an honest assessment of how well your current patterns are working for you and then to encourage you to make changes you deem necessary. I like to think of myself as Switzerland, I’m neutral.
When working with couples we start by discussing what is working in the relationship and what is not. If you can’t find anything that is working, then we take a step back and look at what used to work and move forward from there.
This is true for individuals and families alike. Once we all learn how to communicate with each other without having to go into the snake pit of old fights, hurts, blame, victim hood and anger then we have a change to get our message heard and understood.
If you want a healthy and happy relationships then communication is the key to getting to a place where everyone can talk about what they want and need, without it turning into World War III or worse. And the first step is to find a counsellor who you feel will support you all, equally, on this journey.
The couples and families I have worked with have had remarkable and long term results from committing to therapy and their relationships. You walk away from each session with new strategies and techniques to communicate your needs and how to negotiate getting them met. You will also discover new ways to understand what your partner or family member is actually saying to you and what they really want. If you assume your partner knows what you want then you may be in for a big shock when you find out most of the time you are just guessing.