Dealing with difficult people
Are their difficult people in your life? Does your family drive you insane? Your boss makes you want to run away and never come back? Well there is hope to finding new ways of dealing with them, knowing where they’re coming from can help you depersonalise their behaviour.
The happy – Some people are so happy they make your teeth hurt. These people will either ignore serious problems or try to cheer you up instead of letting you talk about your troubles. You need to be very specific about what you what from them, let them know you appreciate their optimistic outlook but you need some practical solutions at the moment.
The awfuliser – these people only see one side, it’s always the bad or negative one, and they always make things seem worse than they really are. One option is to not tell them bad news another option is to again be very specific and let them know you don’t actually want their sympathy, you just want someone to listen so you can get it off your chest.
The ditherer – These people never make their minds up about anything. They’re frustrating to be around because they never pick a side or team, they’re true fence sitters. One way to reduce this situation is to limit their options and when they do make a good decision or choice support and encourage them. This sort of person traditionally comes from a place of low or poor self-esteem.
The hijacker (or topper) – You know the type, they take over every conversation with a bigger, better or badder story. I think of them as the “look at me” person and feel very sorry for them. One way of taking back the conversation is by saying, in a respectful way “that’s very interesting but do you mind if I finish my story?” Notice if you do this too and try to stop yourself. I must admit I have done this and now try to pull my head in.
The swinger – they have lots of passion, ideas and enthusiasm but lose interest quickly. You can always challenge a swinger to follow through on their ideas, ask them to stay on task and not give up so easily.
The whinger – the mood downer person, they always have something to complain about and if they don’t have anything currently then they’ll dig up the past. One way to help these people is tell them that you value their opinion but at the moment all anyone is hearing is complains and whinging. While this is hard to say and hear unless someone lets them know how they’re coming across they’ll never know and they will loose friends.
At the end of the day if you don’t have much to do with these people then ask yourself if this will really matter to you this time next year, if not then let it go.