Words that Wound

Violence against anyone is abhorrent, violence against women is even worse.  We as a society typically think of violence as something that is physically done to another.  Well verbal abuse is an insidious form of violence, it may not leave physical marks, however can have deeper and more lasting scars than anything physically done to us.  These scars can stay hidden for years and continue to fester, eating away at our self esteem and sense of who we are and cause pain until we are able to speak about what happened and then move beyond it.

The words we put out there can have a profound affect on people, whether they are loving, complaining or down right rude and abusive.  We can uplift and inspire another person with our words or we can bring them crashing down to the ground, writhing in pain.

Name-calling, put downs, insults, belittling and criticism are all forms of verbal abuse, no matter why they are given. This form of verbal abuse is the most serious as it can have long lasting affects on a persons sense of self and the self-belief.  The victim continues to play those things said over and over again in their head until they start to become part of their self belief.   Verbal abuse is frequently ignored and very difficult to recognise.  Culture also needs to be taken into consideration; however this is not a way of justifying verbal abuse.

Verbal abuse can be overt or covert, it can come in the form of shaming, name calling, swearing, yelling, threatening physical violence to taunting, trivialising, minimising, ridiculing and being given the silent treatment.  Regardless of the delivery of verbal abuse, the outcome is always the same, the victim feels powerless to stop the denigration and minimisation of who they are.

At the end of the day it is the victims sense of self and self belief that suffers, which will lead to low self esteem and can even start the spiral down into drug or alcohol abuse and in extreme cases self harm or suicide.

If you or someone you love is being treated in a less than loving way, then speak to them and support them to change what is happening.  Support them to make health decisions about what they need to do and allow them to find their own power and voice and a way out of the abuse.