Gaslighting – Do you know what it is?
In recent years, the term “gaslighting” has gained significant attention in discussions about mental health and relationships. It’s important to understand the nuances of gaslighting, how it manifests and its profound impact on individuals. This blog aims to shed light on this insidious form of psychological manipulation and provide guidance on how to recognise and address it.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where one person manipulates another, making them doubt their perceptions, memories, and even their sanity. The term originates from the 1938 play “Gas Light” and its subsequent film adaptations, where a husband systematically manipulates his wife into believing she is losing her mind.
How Gaslighting Manifests
Gaslighting can occur in various types of relationships, including romantic partnerships, family dynamics, friendships and even workplace interactions. Here are some common tactics used by gaslighters:
- Denial: The gaslighter denies events or actions that occurred, even when there is evidence to the contrary.
- Trivialising: They belittle or dismiss the victim’s feelings and concerns, making them feel unimportant or overreactive.
- Countering: Questioning the victim’s memory of events, insisting that they are mistaken.
- Withholding: Refusing to engage in conversations or pretending not to understand what the victim is talking about.
- Diverting: Changing the subject or questioning the victim’s credibility to distract from the issue at hand.
- Blame-shifting: Making the victim feel responsible for the gaslighter’s abusive behaviour.
The Impact of Gaslighting
The effects of gaslighting can be devastating. Victims often experience:
- Confusion: Doubting their own thoughts and feelings.
- Low Self-Esteem: Feeling worthless, stupid or incapable.
- Anxiety and Depression: Increased mental health issues due to constant manipulation.
- Isolation: Withdrawing from others because they feel misunderstood or believe the gaslighter’s narrative.
- Dependency: Relying more on the gaslighter for a sense of reality, further entrenching the abusive dynamic.
Recognising Gaslighting
Recognising gaslighting can be challenging, especially since it often occurs gradually. Here are some signs to watch for:
- Frequently second-guessing yourself.
- Feeling confused or “crazy.”
- Constantly apologising.
- Struggling to make decisions.
- Feeling like you can’t do anything right.
- Making excuses for the gaslighter’s behaviour to others.
- Feeling isolated from friends and family.
Addressing Gaslighting: Steps to Take
If you suspect you are a victim of gaslighting, here are some steps to take:
- Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family, or a counsellor who can provide an objective perspective.
- Document Events: Keep a journal of interactions and incidents to help clarify your experiences.
- Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your limits and stand firm on them.
- Educate Yourself: Learn more about gaslighting and its effects to better understand your situation.
- Develop Self-Care Practices: Prioritise activities that promote your mental and emotional well-being.
- Consider Professional Help: A counsellor can provide strategies to cope with and address gaslighting.
Conclusion
As a counsellor, I am committed to helping individuals recognise and overcome gaslighting. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your experiences, rebuild your self-esteem and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Remember, you are not alone, and support is available. Gaslighting is a pernicious form of emotional abuse that can leave deep psychological scars. By understanding its tactics, recognizing the signs, and seeking support, victims can reclaim their sense of self and well-being. If you or someone you know is experiencing gaslighting, reach out for professional help. Together, we can navigate the path to healing and empowerment.
Helpful Links
This is a link to the Relationship Page on my website
Here is an interesting article on Gaslighting examples
Here is another interesting article on Dealing with Gaslighting