The Language of Love
Have you heard about the Love Languages? If you have you might have had the same reaction as I did, which wasn’t a particularly positive one, however when I looked into it I was actually very surprised and now am a convert of the theory. So what are Love Languages? They are the ways we primarily like to be shown love. There are five types (listed below) and we all traditionally favour one more than the others, however we can touch in all of them. Me, I’m primarily a time person, with a bit of talk or words of affirmation thrown in for good measure.
1 – Words of affirmation – Talk
For some people hearing “I love you”, words of praise or compliments are what they value most. These individuals feel that words have more weight than actions and would rather hear the reasons behind that love versus any other expression of love. This also means that if something negative or insulting is said to a words person it will not be easily forgiven.
2 – Quality time – Time
For some people spending time with loved ones is what floats their boat. Whether it be a quiet lunch or an afternoon walk, spending quality time and being the focus of their undivided attention leaves them feeling satisfied and comforted more than words. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful to these individuals, so being present is crucial.
3 – Receiving gifts – Tokens
Not everyone who enjoy receiving gifts is materialistic, this just means that for some people love is equated with a tangible gift. The gift doesn’t have to be extravagant or elaborate, however it does have to be meaningful and thoughtful. So if you know that your partners favourite comedian or band is going to perform and you surprise them with tickets, that would show love behind the gift. But if you were to buy a gift certificate or an impersonal gift, prepare for some serious backlash.
4 – Acts of service – Tasks
Hearing the phrase “let me do that for you” is music to some person’s ears, however for people who see acts of service as the greatest expression of love, hearing this phrase is like hitting the jackpot! These people want their partners to notice that their own responsibilities are grand and sometimes daunting and that a helping-hand every once-an-a-while shows love and care. Just as much as these people love acts of service, they do not deal well with broken promises and laziness and have very little tolerance for people who make more work for them, because it shows a lack of respect for them.
5 – Physical touch – Touch
The language of physical touch doesn’t only refer to sexual touch and affection in the bedroom, it also refers to the everyday physical connections, like handholding, kissing, pats on the back, any type of re-affirming physical contact. A person who desires physical touch and affection isn’t overly touchy-feely however for them touch shows how much their partner cares for them. If that physical bond is broken by abuse, their entire relationship can be destroyed indefinitely.
I have put a link below to a survey you can do, for free, to understand what your love language is, it asks you to put your email address in, however I’ve just done it without entering it and it still worked. I would be very interested to see how you all do. Enjoy.
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
The quote I would like to leave you with this month is:-
Have the maturity to know sometimes silence is more powerful than having the last word.