I’m not a mind reader; you have to tell me what it is you want

One of the biggest issues I have when working with couples is them saying “they never listen to me”.   This is something I hear in nearly ever session I have – and it’s not gender specific!!!

Couples come to me with an expectation that they’ve been with their partner long enough now that they shouldn’t have to tell them what they want. WRONG!!!!!!

OK, I’m going to generalise now, so please don’t shoot me.  Women have a better understanding of what’s happening in other peoples heads, by their no verbal language (body language, tone, sound of voice etc), men not so much.  Women, just because we told our partner that we really loved that watch we pointed out in the window of Prouds, will not automatically mean we’re going to get it for your birthday next month.  If you want that watch, then you have to tell then “I really like that watch & I want it for my birthday next month, do you want to go & get it now or do you want to take a photo of it & come back & get it later?”  I know it’s not very romantic, however it’s sure better than getting something you didn’t want.

Personally, I used to have a list on the fridge of things I wanted & my partner could be assured if he went to the list & bought me something from it I would be happy.  I also knew I didn’t have to fake liking what he bought if it wasn’t from the list.

Men are aware of some of the hints we put out, however they can get confused, if they read us right, so will most of the time, err on the side of caution & not follow up on them.   They aren’t mind readers & I for one wouldn’t like my partner to know what I was thinking or what was going through me head, it would only confuse him more!!!!

So if you want to ensure you get great presents you love, or want your partner to help out when needed, then put it into words & tell them (in a loving & respectful way).